Don’t Live in Defeat

What use is there in living in defeat? What use is there in being mired with sorrow and grief after a defeat, and remaining in that defeat?

Lately, I have been dealing with some sin issues in my life, each one permeating every area. They are pride and lovelessness, two things placed under the guise and summation of independence.

I have been searching out the veins of the pride, and burning away the remains of that issue, now that it has been brought to light. It is seen especially in spiritual pride, in that I have a lot of knowledge about the Bible, and about theology, and this and that and the other, but I have little experience. That knowledge causes hypocrisy and blindness, which are both rooted in pride.

Naturally, this is debilitating and demoralizing, because I cannot find and destroy all of my pride on my own, and I am alone in this progress (which is another sin issue under the consuming veil of independence). That, coupled with my repeated and valiant attempts to deal with this issue spur helplessness and despair—defeat.

The second is lovelessness. This is seen in my self-focus and self-centeredness, among other things, and in the fact that I do not miss people. The latter is explainable, but not excusable when it comes down to it. God is love, brothers and sisters. Jesus himself says that the world will know that we are His disciples by our love for one another. Snap! I’m loveless?! That’s no good! And it is true, in my selfishness and lone wolf mentality, I am being prideful which is leading me into independence which is breeding this indifference in me.

Naturally, this too is debilitating, demoralizing, and ultimately defeating. Sorrow and grief burn and dry my eyes, and weigh heavily on my heart. Why? Because ultimately, the lack of love in my life is a crippling lack that cannot remain. If I have not love—even if I have faith to remove mountains, even if I have the gift of prophecy or tongues, even if I give myself to be burned—if I have not love? It is nothing. (1 Cor. 13: 1-3)

So, I am defeated. I have no love. I am nothing.

But wait…what use is there in living in defeat? What good product is there from living in that place? God refines us with fire—we are like metals being melted down so the impurities can rise to the surface and be taken away. We are broken not so that we would remain broken forever, but so that we can be restored to greater heights. Silver is not melted down and refined so it can remain melted; likewise, we are not broken and defeated, grieving and sorrowful, so that we can remain that way to the end of our days.

What use is there in living in defeat?

When Christ died, He took our sins. When He was raised from the dead by God, He had victory over sin and death. Why would we live in defeat when Christ has already had victory? What use is there in that? Christ has already won the war, brothers and sisters. He has already won.

Beyond even that, John 16:23b says this: “Truly, truly, I say to you, if you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you.” Jesus Himself tells us to ask, in unwavering faith, the Father for the desires of our hearts. When we are abiding in Christ, the desires of our hearts are the same as the desires of God (when we are conformed to Christ). We know that it is not the will of God that we remain in our defeat and be in despair, so ask God for deliverance. Ask God to refine you and make you into a new creation. You are His greatest masterpiece. You are His handiwork. He refines you like silver and builds you back up.

Do not remain in your defeat, but rather know that God is with you, and that He loves you, and that He wants to bring you out of darkness and into the light. Rejoice! Rejoice in the Lord! For He has had victory, and He has the power to mold us, shape us, change us and transform us. But we have to let Him. He has melted me down in the fire, and has removed the impurities that have arisen. Ask in faith that God would do this, and He will be faithful. Be anxious for nothing, but with prayer and supplication of thanksgiving, make your requests known to God, and God’s peace, which is beyond comprehension, will be with you. Why? Well, it may be because it is beyond comprehension and is simply God’s piece. But you can have peace because you have faith that God will do what you ask, because your desires and conformed to His, and you desire that He would be glorified through you. Ask in Jesus name, and you will receive. Do not remain in your defeat, for Christ had victory over sin and death, but rather, remain in confidence and faith in God.

I began by talking vaguely about pride and lovelessness, the things that have defeated me, the things that are being refined out of me. Now, I tell you to have faith that God will change you, and ask Him to remove those things from you. I have had faith. I have asked God, and I strongly believe that I have been given a “new” heart—one that has love, rather than indifference, one that is humble, rather than prideful. Do not take my word for it, but know it through the testimonies of those around me. If it is true, and God has changed me here and now, then the love which He gave me should be flowing out onto others. Ask those around me, and they will affirm the truth of this matter. Change of heart means change of action, change of life style.

Be strong and courageous, for God is with you. Be filled with the Spirit, for that is the desire of the Lord. Be faithful to obey His commands, for that is how we know that we love Him. Have faith, a supernatural, solid faith that God is who He says He is, and that He will do what He says He will do.

See what God is doing in our lives!

God is good–God is glorious, and I cannot begin to tell you of the things that have transpired here in Keystone: there are not words. But I will try:

For the last week we have been with a team of 14 men and women, and we have been learning about the power of prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit, among MANY other things. But again, words do not express the glory of God and the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit.

Tonight, after a dinner of venison and antelope, we went out into the rain and played ultimate football (ultimate frisbee + football). The rain hit as hard as we played our game. I retired early because I retrieved the ball from the creek (which, mind you, is ice cold), and I feared that I would get a fever. So I went inside, took a long shower, and worshiped God.

A while later, Derek called the guys into one of the girl’s dorm rooms, where one of our teammates, Sarah, had yet to recover her breath. She hacked, wheezed, sucked in air, coughed, and cried with pain. We gathered in the room and prayed for her healing–we gathered in the hallway, all 14 of us (some of which were still in the room) and continued to ask God to heal Sarah.

Her breathing calmed. It didn’t just calm–it steadied so that she could speak! God healed her, and brought her erratic breathing muscles peace, so that she could have breath!

While we were waiting for the paramedics to arrive, we sat in silence in the hallway, praying quietly and separately–and then we began to sing. We began to glorify God! It was so awesome! Not only did God heal Sarah, and calm her, but we began to worship Him in the midst of that struggle.

The paramedics arrived, assessed Sarah’s condition and took her to the hospital, so we went back into the room, and we began to pray. Standing in a circle, each holding his or her neighbors hand, we prayed together–all at once–for Sarah’s healing, and for God to have victory over Satan here and now, and for God to be glorified.

See, Satan trembles with fear when the Body of Christ comes together and begins to truly grow. He fears, but he is not a creature of inaction–so he began to attack. He brought the worst blizzard LJ had ever seen against him as he travelled back to Keystone, and he tried to squeeze the air from Sarah’s lungs, but God had victory! Satan brings his forces against us, and God defeated him through us.

Prayer turned to song. Again our mouths were quiet, and someone asked if anyone else felt led to sing–several of us had, so we began to worship God and glorify His name. One song became another and another and another. It was truly amazing, more than the words I write for you.

Song turned to simple worship. The name of Jesus Christ has power. It has the power to make demons flee and tremble. It is by His name and His sacrifice that we are all forgiven of the atrocities we have committed against God. His name carries such incredible power. So we began to speak it–not just the name Jesus Christ, but more. We began to speak all names that came to mind. In Pennsylvania, I took a picture of the names of Christ, so I whipped out my phone and began to read.

Simple worship turned back to song, and song to prayer. God is glorious. See what He has done in the lives of the fourteen of us? Just this ONE instance of His power. God healed Sarah, she should be back right now, in her room, probably showering or sleeping. God healed her–the Holy Spirit worked through us and healed her. And this is just one of many instances.

One man shared with us, saying that if he had known Sarah in any other context, he wouldn’t have cared–it would have hardly mattered to him. Just another thing happening in this fallen world, and he was right. In any context other than Keystone, in this group, learning these things, none of this would have been very worried, or so empowered by the Holy Spirit to ask for this healing. I didn’t even believe in present day healing until I came out here. BUT GOD IS REAL! and He can do ANYTHING for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

I cannot begin to truly communicate to your the sheer wonder of what is happening amongst us. This is one thing that happened in the first week! We have three months! The Holy Spirit is moving in each of us. God is having victory through us and He is being glorified!

The Letter

Father,

              When I was a child, I rebelled against you. I was rejected, condemned and judged by your people, so I ran to a place where I found acceptance. I ran so far from you that I began to believe that there was no hope for my soul. While in the bottom of the pit I had fallen into, sitting in my own darkness, I soaked myself with hatred and anger caused by the pain and suffering inflicted by my own hands. Satan was my master, Nocturne was my demon and pure, unconstrained, relentless evil was my god. I hated you. I wished to destroy you and all of your creation.

But…

              Because of your blood, Jesus. Because you died for my rebellion. Because of your unending love for me, Yahweh spread out His arms, dipped His hands into the depths of the darkness, took hold of my heart, squeezed the darkness from it while I was still in it and ripped me from the hell that I had created.

So…

              I come before you, with my mind, body and soul, for it is all I have to give. I thank you, Father, that my life is enough for you. That I do not have to do anything but follow you. I praise you, Adonai, for saving me from the pain, suffering, hurt, hatred, anger, evil, darkness and death of my hell. I praise you for giving my soul hope and my life meaning. You alone are my Elohim (Mighty God), Adonai (My Lord and Master), Jehovah-Rapha (The Lord Who Heals), Jehovah (The Self-Existent One), El Shaddai (The All-Sufficient One) and friend.

              It is my prayer that you continue to guide me through this life, standing with me during every situation, both good and bad, all the way back home to your Kingdom in Heaven.

                                                                                                            Blessed be Your glorious name,

                                                                                                                                          Your Son